Nanny Nightmare Stories

Finding the right nanny for your family is never easy. There’s the “ask a friend” method, online sites like care.com and high-priced agencies. There are pros and cons of all these search methods.

If you hire someone through a referral from a good friend or relative and they don’t work out, well, you are headed for an awkward conversation.

Online sites can give you the sometimes false comfort that you are choosing from a pool of safe and qualified candidates, but unfortunately this isn’t always the case. Care.com has recently been under fire because it wasn’t vetting applicants very well – essentially putting that burden on the customer with extra cost for background and criminal checks.

Outside agencies can be costly and still not yield a good person. They do, however, offer guarantees and will replace your nanny if they don’t work out. But this can also be a real hassle and disruptive to your family.

Nanny Nightmare Stories

No method is perfect. And I have learned that even with all the precautions in place, you can still end up with a nanny who gives you nightmares.

Here are just a few:

Laura hired a nanny who asked if she could bring her teenager along. The teen proceeded to sleep in the basement, order in pizza and basically trash their house. Another nanny who didn’t work out and was about to be let go pretended to fall at the end of her driveway and threatened to sue her.

Jennifer’s nanny was a real challenge in the mornings because she “wasn’t a morning person” A busy working mom with two kids and a working husband, she routinely scrambled to get herself and her kids ready, “my nanny would breeze in 5 minutes before I had to fly out the door to make my morning meeting,” I need her 30 minutes before so I can get ready while someone else is watching the kids but she tells me ‘I am just not a morning person.’”

My former nanny just didn’t show up many mornings. This put incredible stress on our family particularly when one of us was traveling and we were very dependent on the help. She sometimes didn’t even text back until the afternoon claiming she slept in and “even with ten alarms” couldn’t wake up.

Other Nanny Nightmares…

Susan’s former nanny didn’t show up to work for three days “because my bunny died” and needed to grieve. She got the news when she was in Philadelphia on a trip and had to duck out of her work meeting to make alternative arrangements (i.e. begging and pleading) with her in-laws.

If you have in-laws or family to help take care of your kids, that can be a great option, however, when it gets to be too much for them, they can very quickly close shop as my friend Katrina learned. Her parents were watching her kids every morning, which allowed her to manage her long commute and still put in a full day’s work.

But she learned, like I have, that as our parents and in-laws get older, they can decide suddenly to turn off the spigot leaving you in a desperate position of needing help quickly and now having pay for it. This can put real stress on the finances if you were used to getting the free service.

The Silver Lining

While all of this sounds incredibly stressful and difficult please know there is a silver lining in all of these stories. As we learn what doesn’t work, what we don’t want and what we can’t tolerate. We make space for beautiful people to come into our lives and be part of our families.

It’s entirely possible to have a dreamy nanny who cares about your kids and thinks of fun things to do with them – picnics, playing with the dog at the beach, bubbles, you name it. Someone who tidies your house, does your kid’s laundry and asks what errands he or she can do for you.

So my advice for you readers is to follow your instinct and don’t compromise. I learned this the hard way with accommodation after accommodation for nannies that were over-paid and under serving our family. It’s tricky because you tend to form a bond with your nanny as your children do but in the end, you have to think of it as a business contract for services.

And if your nanny adds to your stress and anxiety instead of taking it away, take that as a sign to quickly take action and make a change. Just remember that you deserve a dependable high quality nanny.

If you have a nanny nightmare story, share it in the comments below!