When I had my first two babies, I was very much “anti-nanny.” I had friends and co-workers who had nannies and I saw that in some cases, their children were more attached to their nanny than their mom or dad.
That was my biggest fear. I was afraid of that happening to me, not to mention the cost concern, so I bucked up and flew solo. When I mean solo I am not trying to exclude my husband who is my major partner and support in all of life, especially kids. However, he too has a full time job and a long commute. We got by with afternoon sitters, parent babysitting co-ops and many a night at home.
I will admit, I started harboring a jealousy towards my “nannied” friends and even a self-righteousness about it . Often I told myself, “I don’t need a nanny” and “I can do it all myself!”
I thought hiring a nanny was a sign of weakness in a distorted sort of way. That I was somehow a lesser parent if I asked for help or that I was indulging myself in something I wasn’t worthy of.
So these mental gymnastics went on and we struggled for eleven years with a child care patchwork that was quite difficult to manage. In a sense I am grateful for those years because wow, the content I have for blog posts from putting that puzzle together…geesh. But I digress.
What To Look For In A Nanny
When we got pregnant with our third, I could no longer hold up without real help. I just couldn’t make the math work with two busy girls in sports, two full time jobs and an infant. So I had to hire a nanny. But not any nanny, I specifically needed a baby nanny. Someone who was dialed in to infants and who could be as nurturing as I was…dare I say more?
For me, hiring a nanny was scary.
It was also a process of letting go. You see, when you hire a nanny, you are essentially letting someone you don’t yet know take care of the most important thing to you – mostly while you aren’t there.
When you embark on this journey, consider it a part time job until you fill the position. In my case, I used some online sites (which are good as they allow for background checks). And I used my neighborhood network. I will spare you the details but when that right person came into my life I knew it right away.
How did I know? Well, this nanny came with good credentials of course but more importantly, it was how she approached the first meeting. She got right in there with the baby and even changed her during the interview. That was impressive!
I have distilled five things to look for when hiring a nanny. This is based on my own experience so not statistically significant in any way. Just one girl’s opinion. Some of these qualities you can get from the interview, others you would learn over time. But you could also ask former clients.
5 Things To Look Out For
#1 The right nanny will dive right in during the interview – hold the baby, pick up socks…
#2 They drive more safely than you do
#3 The right nanny is more up to date on the research than you are
#4 They bring your children to you when you need them (breastfeeding, doctor’s appointments)
#5 And they care about your family and your kids, even when they aren’t working (keeping in touch even in during off hours)
Wrapping This Up
Now I have been lucky when it comes to nannies. But I have heard some nightmare stories from others I know. So based on their experiences, a few things to watch out for are:
#1 Don’t hire a nanny who isn’t into kids – sounds simple but can be missed
#2 Also, don’t hire a nanny who is planning to watch their kids and your kids at the same time (in most cases, this just gets too complicated)
#3 Make sure your nanny is reliable. This is one of the most important aspects as you are depending on them (in my case desperately) to show up on time so you can make that 7 a.m. meeting
I hope this has been helpful. What nanny stories do you have to share?
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