Five Ways To Make A Work Trip Not Become A Guilt Trip

Seth Rogan and Barbra Streisand co star in a 2012 film called The Guilt Trip. If you haven’t seen it the story is about a mother-son relationship that grows through the backdrop of a road trip. The doting mother puts her son on a pedestal while the son puts her down until he discovers she was right all along about how to sell a product he developed.

While the movie is focused on a mother’s guilt trip towards her son, in my life, the guilt trip takes on a different angle though the double meaning still endures.

What I am talking about is the guilt of work travel. I have taken countless trips throughout my career so you would think it gets easier but honestly, it hasn’t. Some trips are easier than others and compared to other moms and dads who have jobs that require travel, mine could be worse, which I am grateful for, but it’s still a challenge all the same.

I always wonder how other families make it work. Some parents work opposite shifts, some have parents or in-laws who can help, some have hired help if they can afford it and some just tough it out through the stress.

5 Ideas to Make Sure Your Work Trip Doesn’t Become a Guilt Trip

When the kids are old enough to understand why mommy (or daddy) is called away on a work trip, it can help ease the pain. And I have found my kids will step up while I am gone. The do more chores and help their baby sister. But even kids who do understand will sometimes be emotional. My middle daughter started in on me when she learned of a trip I was taking to the West Coast. It felt like it came out of nowhere. She is typically my champion but in this case was laying the guilt trip on quite hard.

A journalist I met through my work told me about her travel schedule, which was quite intense and international. I learned she had little kids. I was curious how she handled it as her husband also traveled a great deal. She shared that her kids (3 and 7) were very understanding and found it quite adventurous to hear about moms travels. But one day just before a flight, her seven-year-old daughter put her foot down and said something like “mom, you have to stop traveling so much.”

The lesson here is that with kids, even if they seem strong and understanding, they still have anxiety around their parents. Especially with mom traveling. So we shouldn’t ever assume that they are completely comfortable.

Of course it’s hard for the spouse or partner who is left behind too. Particularly if they working full time with a commute. There is just more to do; more rides, more to do in the home with cooking, cleaning, homework, getting everyone to bed, etc. I call it “single parenting.”

So assuming that travel will continue to be a part of our work-life, what are parents to do?

My 5 Personal Tips For A Guilt-Free Work Trip

Here are my five tips both from my own experience (and others) on how to minimize the impact of travel on the family.

Create a home schedule: Set up a detailed schedule for while you are out. I do this both in email and a Google calendar. I share it with babysitters, nannies, in-laws and of course the family.

Time your travel wisely: If you have any choice in terms of when you travel, check your calendar for things like band concerts, swim meets, soccer games, teacher conferences etc. Some weeks will be better (or worse) than others in this respect.

Be smart about arrival and departure times: In terms of departure, I have tried the night before, the morning of and everything in between. I haven’t found one to be much better or worse than the other. Though in terms of return, I always try to return the night of the last day of when I need to be in a place. That sometimes means I need to leave a meeting at 3 instead of 4 to catch a flight. But I don’t believe I have ever missed anything major and it’s much easier on the family.

Keep in touch: Some parents do a great deal of face-timing with their kids. I have done some. I find texting throughout the day to keep in touch works well.

Set up your safety net: Before I go, I map our kids schedule to our support system. Can Grampa drive to gymnastics or take the little one for a night? Are the carpools all set up? Where else can I take the pressure off my husband?