What I Learned After Reading: “I Don’t Know How She Does It”

Have you ever read the book “I Don’t Know How She Does it: The Life of Kate Reddy, Working Mother” by Allison Pearson?

I have and after reading it, it has quickly become one of my favorite books.

The story left me a little empty and sad but what stuck with me the most was the refrain “must remember…must remember.” Sometimes when I leave for work, I feel like I am getting ready for a week-long camping trip. The diversity and quantity of the stuff I have to remember before leaving the house for work sometimes makes my head spin. Let’s take the other day for example.

Here is a list of all the items I had to think about before I left the house:

And consider this is the summer, and I am taking only one kid to preschool each day. When I have the three of them, this gets worse.

• Vivienne’s (oldest daughter) thank-you letters from her birthday gifts to mail
• Harper’s (youngest daughter) swimming stuff for “splash day” (suit, flip flops, towel, sun screen)
• My swimming stuff for a “lunch time” Master’s workout (suit, flip flops, goggles, towel)
• Pack and take my lunch (really don’t have time to buy lunch so I bring it almost every day)
• Coffee
• Snacks for Harper for the way home from school – without these, I have the longest seven minute drive home in history
• My work bag
• My purse – hoping it’s not like the time I took two purses when I went out with my girlfriends.

At heart I am a greenie. I am looking for ways to reduce my footprint. A week or so ago, I came across a wee-hoo. This is a fantastic alternative to the baby bike trailer. Not cheap but I am willing to make the investment. Then I look at the amount of sheer stuff I need to manage in a typical day. I say to myself, “unless I have a Uhaul following my bike, how the heck would I make it happen?”

I would need to get that list of “stuff”

Onto this:

And don’t forget the toddler!

This makes me sad. But in reality, biking to work might not be an option for me despite the close proximity of my office to my home. Add to that limited garage space and the random “Mom can you pick me up” text messages during the middle of the day, it becomes near impossible to even imagine I can bike to work.

I wish I could be this:

But really I am this:

What I Learned After Reading This Book

Sometimes you need to let go of the mom guilt and forgive yourself for taking the easier and more realistic option. So next time you start beating yourself up about that yoga class you missed or that thank-you note you just forgot to send and how too much time went by. Just take a breath and give yourself permission to just relax.

I hope you’ll pick up this book after reading my post!