As working moms, we are constantly leaning in. We are leaning into our careers. We are leaning into our family. And when there’s some time in between, we lean into our self-care.
We are the Lean In poster queens. And if we leaned in any further, we would fall over! So instead of leaning in, consider opting out.
Opting out is always a challenge for me but when I don’t do it, I feel stretched and compressed at the same time. Opting out gives you space in your life to go deeper into those things that are really important. It can give you a buffer if you have a big presentation or speech, give you space for that extra sleep or workout or a more relaxing dinner with your family.
If you want lean in less and make opting out easier for you, here’s what you can do…
Learn To Say No
When we say ‘no’ to a project at work, we feel like we’re not being a team player. When we say ‘no’ to our kids, the mom guilt is really turned up.
There is an article on wikiHow that shares steps for saying no without feeling guilty:
- Acknowledge you can’t do everything.
- Remind yourself you’re not being selfish saying no.
- Know that you can’t please everyone.
- Think of what you say ‘yes’ to when you say no.
Asking For And Accept Help To Avoid Burn Out
When I had my first two babies, I was very much “anti-nanny.” I thought hiring a nanny was a sign of weakness in a distorted sort of way. That I was somehow a lesser parent if I asked for help or that I was indulging myself in something I wasn’t worthy of. But maybe I just didn’t want to relinquish control.
But if you have the resources and can hire a nanny to help with childcare, cooking, cleaning, or anything else, it does not mean you are a “bad” or “less than” mom. You don’t have to do it all yourself or be a martyr. And if you do outsource – you do not need to feel guilty about it. Something I wish someone had told me ten years ago.
Let Go Of Guilt
You should never feel guilty for saying no. I know, it’s easier said than done. But it is your right to choose what you want to do and what you don’t want to do. You are not obligated to please everyone all the time. Sometimes, it is okay to put yourself first.
Wrapping Up
Leaning in to every opportunity isn’t always the best decision. Sometimes it’s better to just opt out if it means you get to spend time with your family. By following these three tips, you can start to balance your work and home life a bit better.
If you have anything to share to help working moms ‘lean in’ less and opt out more, please share it in the comments below.
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